The Trilogy: The Journalist, The Journey, and The Journals
"Arriving at the farm on the outskirts of Boulder Colorado was refreshing albeit no more than fences and pastures, horses and small ponds, beautiful views of the mountains and wildlife galore. It was heaven to me. I had found a place of peace away from all the distractions, chaos and so I accepted this outcome as a blessing and started a new life. This new place, the cold winter snow storms, require rising early mornings before sunrise in sub freezing temperatures to break the ice in the water tanks for the horses. The horses needed hay and lots of it every day at sunrise. It was an extreme change from city life over night and with it came after my chores a quiet warm place to look into this group of people that invited me to join them. All looked good however I needed more time as the more I dived into the volumes and volumes of all quietly published and read by few books my amazement and curiosity grew rapidly. I was not once easily captivated by books and almost never watched movies so I was impressed with how much I continued to be interested in the discussions of humanity, religions, the environment, the brain, relationships, science, whatever, it was all good and withstood much scrutiny. Deep study was encouraged strongly and online chats and meetings were facilitated on an ongoing basis and in the back of my mind I wondered “is this a cult” because I was enjoying it more and more but still I had the discipline to keep everything at an arm’s length with caution and reservation."
"My engagement with the chat groups which often were in depth exchanges of the books published, the subject matter and how it pertained to current events. Some were surprised at my level of study and understanding while others were apprehensive warning that I was to engaged for my own good. Like any community there will be debate and controversy and it was predicted within the publications themselves that contradiction and opposing interpretations were to be expected. In short period of engagement attending gatherings and meeting participants in person solidified my belief that whatever this was that I found myself intrigued with could be just as deeply enjoyed alone as with a group or others. It was not a difficult decision to go against what many suggested and become a part of the group and in short order myself imposed sabbatical yielded results that were satisfactory. These books, these words, I still refer today. They have been extremely helpful in understanding family dynamics, psychopaths and what creates evil and how to deal with it. I had hoped to share this insight, this guidance and wisdom with my descendents as I had so many other books of value but it was not to be. The years of separation, the distance, the gossip and never ending bitterness, the alienation , left no room for any conversations at all ever again. Accepting the values of others without anger, accepting one’s choices that differ from others is satisfying and dissipates anxiety, relaxes the soul. There was a different vocabulary being used here, new terminology to me but somehow very appropriate, less condemning. There was also a very demanding sense of ownership by those who were deeply engaged in the group aspect of this small community and they too were sworn to certain actions, sometimes questionable in their dedication and perceptions. This was no problem as sharing this philosophy, these publications that they so cherished it almost seemed like obsessive possessiveness, ownership of all in the universe. That was scary but avoidable. The subject matter was wide ranging and all encompassing. It was not an easy read at times and other times it was pure simplicity. The desire to share such an discovery of this vast data base of wisdom and knowledge was irresistible but short lived as it was quickly realized few had the time or desire to sincerely engage and study. The hustle of life, demands of time from work and family, stresses of everyday life in the city. A retreat, an escape to a sanctuary, would be a good place to consider, to plan for, to act upon. The volumes were many. "
To be continued, ...
Chapter Nineteen: The Trilogy – The Journalist, The Journey, and The Journals