Musings, Memories , Anecdotes About Me
"It is a horrible feeling when your Mother asks you to go and find another family, and when she swears over and over that she will never never ever ever tell anyone what her daughter did. And one day then you realize no one will ever believe you and you have to accept that. I honestly don’t know what I would say to my mother if I ever saw her again. At this time I have no desire to. As for The Childless Aunt I definitely would not take any chance what so ever of being in her presence again. I don’t think My Daughters could handle it either. In the short time I knew them as a toddlers and very young children they were usually very decisive in their actions and appears to be even more so day. My Youngest Daughter is questionable as she is not as hard core, regardless if right or wrong, as My Oldest Daughter. I don’t think My Oldest Daughter has ever experienced anything in life that cause her to consider that she may have ever made a mistake. That’s just not a possibly her perception of herself and that is likely her reality."
"I have learned a lot from these estranged relationships as noted in The Journal Notes and Transcendence. Transcendence requires you to look back if necessary and accept your role in these experiences, balance them and see both sides, love them both and move on. Journal Notes involves a much different practice and philosophy but has much value also. Today my Uncle is being laid to rest, my mother’s brother. They were extremely close and talked every day of their adult lives I believe. There is no way I would attend the funeral services knowing that it is highly likely she will be there unless death prevents her. It is possible The Childless Aunt will be there and it makes no sense for me to chance a meeting with either ever again. Its not that anyone else in my mother’s family would be surprised as she likely told them the story she told everyone else about my absence over the past decades, true or not, gossip or not. The long damaging reach of The Childless Aunt has been a lifelong project of hers and the hatred she has for me has always been self evident. What was it about this mother-daughter duo that drove them to such excessive destructive actions against their own kin. Was it just a sibling rivalry with a twist of rejection by the mother of her least favorite child?"
Chapter Thirteen “Go Find Another Family”